Happy Birthday, Mom!

The cake from Charles Street Bakery, with the image from the invitation on it.

This weekend was the surprise 80th birthday party for my mother. My brother had plans in the works for months, and the closer it got to the actual event, the more afraid I became of spilling the beans because with age it just seems harder to hold all the threads of the half-truths, lies and deceits that were told. What came easily in adolescence is much more difficult with the passing of thirty-some years.

The first lie was that my husband had a seminar at one of the DC-area universities so he was also coming down for the weekend. Most of the time it's just me and the little heathens making the trip. Next since the "seminar" was work-related, there could be a hotel room for us - necessary because my mother's cousin was coming into town from Florida for the party, so she would be moving from the hotel to Mom's guest room on Saturday so it would not have been a good idea to have my little army invade for a night and then decamp for a hotel. Mom was already going to stress that her house was not ready for company, and so Hurricane Micah would need to make landfall elsewhere.

Second lie, if we're only going for the majors, we were going to be having lunch with Lorrie, my friend and former housemate, but it would need to be later in the afternoon because she had plans for the morning. This was the cover story for not going out until a little bit later than we usually do. I also said I wanted to go to the Blue Crabs' stadium to get t-shirts (a small truth amidst all of the fudging.) Then I mixed into that another falshood that I had spoken with my sister-in-law and she had said that there was an event at the stadium where they were giving away free passes to the children's play area. She wouldn't be able to go (another small truth, she had a class), but my brother and nephew would be going and they wanted extra passes so could we time our stadium trip to the time they would be there.

Meanwhile, after having dinner at Mom's Friday, we went back to the hotel and met up with Mina, Mom's cousin who came from Florida for the party. And the kids met her as well - now we had another cat that had to be kept bagged up. Fortunately Thea claimed she was so tired that she had already forgotten Mina's name.

Saturday morning Thea and I were up early to run errands; ATM machine, gas up the car, stop at the bakery to pay off the cake (which my brother had already done by the time we arrived at 8:10.) So we had croissants and went back to the Best Western to have breakfast with Mina, Steve and Micah before heading over to Mom's Saturday morning.

At Mom's we're making up our agenda for the day: SafewayBlue Crabs' stadium store, Kohl's, lunch with Lorrie. As we're getting ready I'm trying to stall a little bit because the longer I have to keep everyone in motion before our arrival at the stadium, the more likely it is that I am going to let the cat out of the bag.

Thea picked that moment to come unglued about not being able to play a round of Candyland at Oma's and she pitched a rather spectacular hissy-fit. Tear, recriminations, snot, more tears, all with major splashes of whining. This DID NOT help with plans to get on the road because my mother was not going to sit in the car with a fit-throwing child. So as Mom is getting ready and gathering up her stuff, I am hissing major threats in Thea's ears about what will happen if she blows the surprise.

I tossed both kids in the car with a few more threats heaped on Thea's head and went in to tell Mom that everything was fine. By the time she ambled out to the car, everything was not fine, we were on to Round #2 of Tears/Snot/Recriminations, but by then I was hissing at my mother that SHE wasn't going to make me go through this alone, so she'd better get her butt in the car. NOW.

It is now 12:40 pm. The stadium is about five minutes from Mom's house. I am starting to sweat, because even with a stop at the SunTrust ATM at Safeway, we have time on our hands. Time the guests need to find their way to the party suite. Fortunately Thea is almost back to her pre-hissy fit state after being allowed to go with me to the ATM and punch in the PIN, etc.

So we head to the stadium, and instead of taking the ever so convenient back roads, I take Route 301. As we are heading about half way to the turn off, the lightbulb goes off: Mom, do you think that the White Plains post office still might have the Lunar New Year stamps? (And you thought that I wasn't going to mention LNY again until 2010!) So we pulled in to the post office: Closed as of 12 noon. Then Mom comes up with the idea to try the Waldorf post office. Genius! It will take at least ten minutes to get there, a few minutes in the post office, and ten minutes back. Amen, problem solved. Further erosion of my newborn ulcer averted.

Except that my mother knew that I bought quite a few sheets of LNY stamps during our last trip. So add another lie to the pot, there are fewer stamps per sheet (true) and I've used them up. (I did use a couple of sheets to mail out the invitations to her surprise party, but I still have at least three or four.) At the post office, again I let Thea come with me, because she's gotten her act together so I need to enlist her help at the stadium and heap a little praise on her head to do my bidding at when we get to crunch time. We also bought two more sheets of LNY stamps - and with rates going up again in May 2009, I will probably be buying one- or two-cent stamps to be able to use them all up.

Now we head to the stadium. It's a gray, cool, drizzly day. The weather was not festive in the least. So when we arrive in the parking lot there are a few cars - which does give it the appearance of something going on. I pull in and swing wide through the lot not knowing how much (or little) my mother would pay attention to the other cars there (cousins with NC plates, more cousins with Virginia plates, a set of Pennsylvania plates, her neighborhood friends' cars).

I'm ready to head in and get this over with. Let's shout SURPRISE and be done. Let Karl take over responsibility for Mom as the organizer and host of the party. Someone, buy me a drink.

But we are talking about my mother. "You go and find out where this thing is, because I am not getting out this car just to wander aimlessly through the stadium." So I go out on the reconnaisance mission.

Thea and I trot out into the drizzle right as one of my mother's friends is coming up the other part of the sidewalk. I am hoping that my mother is chatting with Micah and not looking in the rear view or side view mirrors or we're screwed right as we're heading to the finish line.

We stop into the stadium office, a staff member points us out to a suite along the third base line, the friend goes off to join the guests and Thea and I head back to the car to get Oma and Micah. And Micah is out cold, fast asleep. Nice. I have to fold up the lump and stuff him into the umbrella stroller.

So Micah gets unceremoniously plunked in his stroller and Oma gets to push him (versus using her cane), and we make the trek back to the party suite.

Right as we're coming to the building, two ladies, one carrying a helium container (giving me the clue she's the person my brother made arrangements with to do the decorating) start heading our way. But she was on the ball when she saw my face, she comes up with, "Are you here for the coupons? They are SO disorganized, everyone's waiting around, I'm going off to have lunch and come back.) Nice cover story, promising future in covert ops if her party decorating sideline goes belly-up.

So we head in to the foyer area, Thea and I in the lead, Mom and the stroller-bound Micah bringing up the rear. The last thing I said to her before she got to the doorway was "Come on, Mom, I want to get in line!" Mom comes in, blows right by the giant banner with HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARGARET on it, says something like "Oh, look at all the balloons." Everyone yells SURPRISE and she still hasn't truly processed what was going on. You can almost hear the synapses firing in domino-like fashion. Since I was behind her I missed seeing her face as the lightbulb went off when she first took in everything.

There were old neighbors from when we lived in Hyattsville, there was her cousin from Florida, cousins from the Baltimore area, Aunt Mary, Donna and Bill from North Carolina, friends of hers who came all the way from Delaware, a friend whose mother worked with Mom's father, so many of her local friends this posting would go on forever it I tried to account for everyone. Even though I sent out the invitations, it was mind-blowing to see everyone there, so I know it was a huge surprise for Mom. Sometimes it doesn't take much to boggle her mind, and this did it and did it well. My brother did good, really, really big good.

Nothing like cake to cure a bad mood!

Meanwhile, it took most of the three-hour party for my stomach to completely unknot. When she turns 85, I'll pay for the party and my brother can concoct the stories needed to get her there.

Mom high-fiving it with the little cousins: Elise (2), Micah (3), Bailah (5) and Willi (3)