Oscar the Grouch in China

Who needs Big Bird in China, this morning I was Oscar the Grouch in China. Thea was up early, she fell asleep before dinner last night and hadn't had anything to eat or drink. So I got her a juice box of milk and some Cheerios. There was almost no hope of her getting back to sleep so I made a 'clubhouse' for her in the little entry hall in our room by putting her pillow and her Backyardigans blanket on the floor so she could lay down and play games on her Leapster. Micah was the next one up and he had cranked out a present in his Huggies, so he needed sprucing up and feeding.

We had to be downstairs and ready to go to the Yellow Crane Tower by 9:00 am. Going out to the minibus, the humidity just wilted me in a nanosecond. This was a no stroller trip since there were stairs, stairs and more stairs. Micah crashed on the ride there, so I had him the Over-the-Shoulder-Baby-Holder sling - which was probably easier for carrying him upstairs. Sleeping, that is, not the sling. Dead weight is much less squirmy. Today started out overcast, so Eric suggested bringing the umbrellas from our rooms - Steve went up to get that. He didn't manage to think of bringing a bottle of water for us - after packing up the diaper bag, getting two children dressed, bringing the diaper bag, camera, Brother Tiger down to breakfast, I'd hoped that after our last three days of going out he could remember one simple thing, it's hotter than Hades here, bring a bottle of water, dammit. No such luck.

Once we'd climbed the stairs to the Yellow Crane Tower, which is really a 1980s remake, we rode the elevator to the top. Steve presumed we'd take the elevator down as well - thinking he was being kind to me and my knees. I was just cranky enough from the heat, humidity and being gawked at by hordes of people that this really ticked me off. I walked down like everyone else, thank you very much.

While we were up in the tower, it started to rain - not enough to use the stupid umbrella, but enough to make the stone stairs a little slick. Thea got a little fed up with the whole thing about half way down the tower, I was completely fed up when I saw some local tourist photographing Micah and Steve. Their intentions were probably harmless, but when I'm sightseeing in the States, I don't go up to complete strangers and asked to be photographed with them. How much of this was being hot, grouchy and just fed up with being stared at, I don't know. I do know that the ones who are staring who don't have a benign or pleasant expression on their faces are getting stared right back at. So far I've never been the first one to break eye contact.

Once back at the Hotel Nicotine, Thea had a quick cool-down in the tub, Micah hoovered some rice cereal and bananas, and I tried to do a little self-exorcism and we went to lunch with Mary, Leigh Ann, and Olivia. I had my third salad here, despite what the guidebooks say. I don't think the water used to rinse the vegetables is all that bad - it's probably the PCBs and heavy metals that would get you, not the bugs. Unfortunately the hotel chef's interpretation of a Cobb Salad (described as having roast beef and chicken in it) actually has kidney beans, chopped egg whites, chopped tomatoes, crumbled blue cheese, crumbled egg yolks, and black olives. The vinaigrette promised on the menu is actually thousand island dressing.

After lunch Steve went back to Carrefour with a list of stuff, returning with about half of it. How he has managed two trips there without knowing the lay of the land beats me. We have to make a trip back to the Civil Affairs office on Friday, so maybe the minibus can leave me off there. Thea went back in the tub, playing deep-sea rescue mermaid and water salesman. Micah sucked down another bottle, cranked out another smelly diaper, splashed a little on the side of the tub (until Thea said, "Mommy, can you take him out of here?" when she was fed up with his tossing the plastic boats in and splashing her.) Once Steve was back in the room, I got paroled and headed to the hotel's Business Center. My sessions here are getting shorter and shorter as my tolerance for cigarette smoke lessens.

Tomorrow we're getting hauled off on another tour. Eric is at the notary's office today and will supposedly have the babies documents by this evening. Friday is the day we are given their passports, Saturday we're free again and Sunday morning we fly to GuangZhou - where I hope a non-smoking floor is truly a non-smoking floor. Today I found out that there is no non-smoking section at breakfast, we just get seated where there are the fewest people incinerating carcinogens and inhaling them into their lungs.

I need chocolate, I have been deprived but to a good end. If the hotel scale is correct, I've lost about twelve pounds - and that's while still having a Coke or two a day. I need the caffeine, the coffee here is foul and amongst all the American fast food restaurants polluting the local scene, there is not one single Dunkin Donuts. I bought a small container of Chips Ahoy cookies at Carrefour on Sunday. Three years ago the ones I bought at Parkson's in ChongQing were exactly like those from home. This time they looked a bit too much like the vegan chocolate chip cookies served on the flight to Beijing. Anything with 'vegan' and 'chocolate' used in the same sentence does not bode well for a carnivorous consumer.

Oscar the Grouch is going back to the Teahouse of 1,001 Dalmations. I did take a picture of Micah napping on the bed amidst all the spots, so the experience has been preserved for posterity.

Tomorrow will be a better day, I hope.