Enter The Year of the Rat

Be forewarned, this post contains references to urine, feces and snot, and their roles in my recent life. If it's not your cup of tea, stop reading now and move on to a blander blog.

The Lunar New Year is off to a rather inauspcious start at our house. Wednesday Thea's school had a performance at the Princeton Senior Resources Center. She went to the rehearsal the day before, had been singing the songs around the house and in the car and was otherwise totally ready. Until the moment arrived, the children all marched out and she crumbled like a house of cards and started to cry.

And she spent the remainder of the performance on my lap.

The next day the performance was repeated at school for the Lawrence Day School students (Ying Hua and LDS share the same building), and she participated in the entire show. So much for rearranging schedules, having Steve home to do Micah's session with Ela, etc.

Thursday came and I arrived home to find that a glazed earthenware bowl that had been my grandmother's had an accident. The bowl had survived twelve years of me using it while I lived in DC, the moved to Philadelphia and two moves once in Philadelphia, the relocation to Princeton and seven years here. I loved that bowl because I can see my grandmother grating cabbage - and she always let me have some with just the vinegar and oil on it, before the mayonnaise went in and made it yucky.

And I know that it's people that matter, not possessions - but that bowl was a link to a person, and that person was enormously important to me.

Steve said it was in too many pieces, but he kept the pieces in a plastic bag - and it wasn't quite as bad as the "totally shattered" that he told me. Five large pieces, one shard and a chip, and with Elmer's glue and 3M tape, the bowl is back. Nurses and tape, baby - miracles can happen.

All of the above is almost insignificant compared to Friday's events. Thea was annoyed at the computer and threw two major tantrums - one of which I called Steve so he could listen in on the tirade. She got a 15 minute time-out from using the computer twice, and howled like I was pulling her eyelids over her head until they touched her butt. By dinner she was back to good humor - which was a good thing since Steve was trotting out to a bridge tournament. The whole theme of any of her tantrums is I WANT IT AND I WANT IT N-O-W. And since my membership at Our Lady of Instant Gratification has lapsed, it really gets her going. During one of the snot and tears tirades, I had to get a tissue and wipe her face and get her to blow her nose, only to have her scream at me I WANT MY BOOGIES BAAAAAAACK. Much as I would have like to have obliged, I might not have been willing to return them to the same orifice from which they emerged.

After dinner and clean-up, Thea went upstairs to get ready for bed. I was downstairs, stripping off Micah's clothes to throw in the wash. He indicated that he also wanted his diaper off. It was soggy and warm, so I figured I had a few seconds to dump it in the garbage and grab a new one. A few seconds for the little hoser to unleash the contents of his bladder onto the kitchen floor, and then try to splash around in it.

So after mopping up after the mess, kicking myself for my stupidity, I went upstairs with him. Thea was on the potty, I went to get my pajamas on and grab Micah's pajamas and undershirt, seconds really, just a few seconds.

During which Thea got off the potty, after pooping, giving Micah the opportunity to shove the toilet brush in and stir up a nice batch of turd soup, and then walk around the bathroom carrying the dribbling brush.

Nasty boy. And Thea, who usually starts hollering if he looks at her funny for thinking about hitting her some time next week, remained silent throughout this, so as an AWACS system, she is somewhat selective and therefore sucks.

So the two little beasts got tossed in the tub, I washed off my feet, and since it was after 9 pm and my mother is usually asleep by then, I was unable to call and ask her what was her magic formula for not killing my brother and me because I needed that particular incantation and I needed it N-O-W. Thea paddled around in the tub for almost an hour, relieving me of having to do bedtime stories.

Saturday, other than making them breakfast and getting them dressed, they were Steve's problem. I went to see Juno, probably the first movie that I've gone to in almost two years - it was great, but I could have lived without the ten minutes of commercials before the previews. Much more annoying than the music and slide-show advertisements from back in the day.

Tonight I settled for The Nanny Diaries on PPV. The book was better.

So much for Lunar New Year, I'm already looking forward to the Year of the Ox.