Social (In)Security, Part II

We made it to the two week mark, and no Social Security card arrived for Micah. Quelle suprise.

Today Micah and I had a full schedule: we dropped Thea off at school, ran down to Hamilton to the Delcrest Medical Supplies to get a new battery for my oto-ophthamoscope, went to D-n-D for a life-sustaining cup of coffee and then went back to Thea's school at 10:30 for a presentation to the first- and second-graders on health, then running up Route 1 to Gymboree for Micah's first Baby Signs class (he thoroughly enjoyed being there, but so far the signing is more for me than him), and once done there, on to Kennections to get my grey banished. Once I was back to being a brunette, my choice was pick up Thea at school or run down to Social Security to see if there was a problem with Micah's application. Bureaucracy won.

No problem. I got the number, printed on a paper sheet, so I'm semi-happy.

But I was told to give it until October 12th before checking again if the actual card doesn't arrive, and it will take another trip down there since none of this is done via phone or email. And if it's going to take a month, then tell me at the start - the letter given on the day we first applied said two weeks. Thea's card, although needing fixing, arrived in six days or so. Is it any wonder why I have to take medication for my blood pressure?

By October 12th, if the Social Security card hasn't arrived, I am going to be way too busy with preparations for Thea's 4th birthday celebration: cupcakes to be baked and decorated, party bags to be made up, presents to be wrapped. And that day her school is going on a field trip to Von Thun Farm, so even though she's usually home with me that day, we're going on the excursion.

Social (In)Security

Micah and I went to the Social Security Administration office in Trenton yesterday. I was going to try out the one in New Brunswick, but since Thea and I had already been to the one on South Clinton Avenue in Trenton, I decided to stick with the familiar. Fortunately for us, at 10 am on a Monday morning the computer spat out a ticket telling us our number in the queue was 84 and the counters above the windows said that 81 was being helped. We came armed with just about every piece of paperwork that has been accumulated since Micah's adoption: his Chinese passport, our passports, his Certificate of Citizenship, birth certificate translation, adoption certificate (original and translation), you name it.

Once our number was called, we went to the window of a very nice clerk, one who had never in her life processed an application of an internationally adopted child. I am hoping that this works in my favor, because last time for Thea's application, I got a veteran who told me I was the best prepared person she had ever worked with. And then Thea's Social Security card came with "Resident Alien: Ineligible for Employment withouth DHS Approval," and when I read that I thought my head was going to explode. Because SSA does not correct its mistakes over the phone, getting a plain, unannotataed card took another trip into Trenton to mix once again with the cream of society. The clerk asked if Micah had a US passport - which needs a SSN, at least according to the application I picked up while at the post office on Saturday.

Did you know that you are only entitled to ten replacements per lifetime of your Social Security card? I wonder what happens if someone is so unfortunate as to need #11?

While the clerk and I were sorting things out (she actually got her supervisor to check her work and my documents), Micah was busy pushing his umbrella stroller back and forth behind me. This caught the attention of three dingy blond, pork rind snarfing harpies who were sitting together and commenting on everything in voices that could broadcast to foreign countries without amplification. Another suburban-ish mom was there to apply for a SSN for her baby, and the harpies were on her case with "Look, she doesn't even know how to carry a baby carrier." Baby was happy, baby's mother looked like she was managing fine, why can people just put their tongues and dentures in neutral and shut the heck up?

Meanwhile back at our window, the clerk didn't include Steve's SSN on Micah's application even though I had written it on the application so I was trying to get that fixed when Micah pulls the stroller over/on top of him. I didn't even hear him fall - which is a good thing because when his head hits the floor there usually is a sickening thud and he starts crying, neither of which happened. But the harpies had a fit, telling me he could have split his head open, I should watch him, blah, blah, blah. Oh, go bite me on my cellulitic pink tushie. But I was a good person, who merely told them that I didn't comment on how they took care of their children so I would prefer they keep their comments to themselves regarding how I was taking care of mine. Not the brightest thing to do, pissing off three white-trash Trentonians, but their numbers in the queue were in the upper 80s and it was unlikely that they would give up their place in line even for the pleasure of beating the snot out of me, so I figured I could make my exit with nothing to fear - and even with bad knees and pushing a stroller, I could probably out run them, too.

So in two weeks, or so the clerk promised, Micah should have his Social Security card. We'll see if it's done correctly the first time. And then I have to decided which of the next rings of paperwork hell I am going to take on: Micah's passport or the New Jersey birth certificate. I think it will probably be the birth certificate, because the office that processes that makes copies of all the documents; for the passport, I'll have to surrender the one and only original of his Certificate of Citizenship and an original of his Chinese birth certificate and adoption certificate. An article on CNN says the passport crunch is over, but the thought of sending those things off into the void makes me a little nervous. The New Jersey birth certificate will give him a one page birth certificate instead of the six-page booklet of translations, certificates and notarizations.

Audiogram & 3rd Anniversary of Thea's Adoption

I'm adding another post keep those of you who have no cable TV, hobbies or social life, or those who have an extremely low threshold for entertainment, updated. Micah had his audiogram at JFK Rehabilitation Institute in Edison (what a miserable drive, everything I hate about roads in NJ and then some).

The test itself turned out pretty well, after being kept in a sound proof room that was about as warm as Hell's antechamber. He got so warm, I had him stripped down to a t-shirt and diaper by the time the appointment was over. As expected the decibel range covered by air conduction was nil (no ear canals, duh), but once they bypassed the structural abnormality, the bone conduction ranges were fine - so a bone-conduction hearing-aid for starters. I'm inclined to do the least invasive for now, the hearing aid, pending hearing from whatever surgeon is going to deal with the surgery later on - sometimes doing the pins for a BAHA (bone-anchored hearing aid) or cochlear implant will preclude future work on the reconstruction of the auricle. I don't much care for the cosmetic part, but Micah may care about this some day so I don't want to make any decisions that will override what he may want to do in the future.

The downside is we go back again in a week for a repeat audiogram, to make sure their assessment was correct and to see if they can distinguish between the left and right ear in terms of ability. I liked both of the audiologists who worked with him, one of whom has a doctorate. She was very much on the same page as me as far as getting Micah communication skills as opposed to solely focusing on his acquiring speech. The one school that Somerset County's EIP works with is more focused on oral/speech and once upon a time had a director who was opposed to sign language. This kid needs sign language as a temporary measure to express his basic needs: thirst, hunger, tiredness, etc. so anyone who is going to look down their noses at me will eventually be also butting heads. The second audiogram may also be able to put off further testing that would require Micah to go under anesthesia, so there is a plus to it.

Thea is doing ok at YingHua Day School, a Mandarin Chinese-immersion program. She taught one of my mom's neighbors "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" in Chinese a few days ago, but then was mortified when I told her teacher about it. She sort of keeps her Chinese school stuff separate from us, which is so adolescent it's almost scary. Today is the third anniversary of her adoption, so we're celebrating Family Day with dinner and a dessert of her choice (blueberries and strawberries (with whip cream, we're not saints)).

Labor Day weekend I took my little mutants down to visit my mother over Labor Day, proving I could travel solo with two of them. I highly recommend The Who's CD, Who's Next for drowning out any whining or asking are we there yet, Mommy? Mom got Micah to eat yellow squash, pineapple and a few other things that he was spitting out at home. Mom bought Micah a little pinafore/bib thing at the farmers' market. I put it on him and it looks more like a sundress than a bib/coverall, but if one is going to cross-dress, let it be John Deere fabric and Mennonite-made. Fortunately he wasn't into accessorizing with his sister's shoes (loves the sandals with the pink flowers) or one of the purses that she has no use for.

I'm now trying to get invitations out for Thea's birthday party. She turns four on Saturday, October 13th, and this year we're finally doing a children's party instead of just the family parties of the previous two years. She actually walked into My Gym and said, "This is a cool place for a birthday party." Coming from the child who hates to be the center of attention in a lot of ways, I had my checkbook out in about two seconds flat. I've been scouring the dollar section of Target since Spring so I already have most of the stuff for the party favors, if I can find all the places I've squirreled it away.

"Daddy, I want a pony" to "Daddy, I want a Cessna"

Thea is only in school Wednesday and Thursday this week, so in an effort to provide constructive and stimulating activities to occupy our time, we went on the weekly tour of Princeton Airport. Thea was very excited about this, and woke with "Today is our tour of the airport." And then she asked if there was going to be moving sidewalks. The moving sidewalks at the Newark, Beijing and Hong Kong airports were a bit hit with her, so I had to help her scale back her idea of the tour to the size of a small airport.
We got to see a lot of small planes taking off and landing, and two helicopters that also flew in as well. The highlight of the morning was getting to climb into the cockpit of a two-seater Cessna and work the controls.
Micah was just along for the stroller ride, but he was on good behavior thanks to a tiny beach ball given out by a representative of the Princeton Health and Fitness Center.

After lunch and Micah's nap, we remembered that it was the release date of the new Backyardigans book, Super Spies. Backyardigans are very big deal to Thea - a child who doesn't like dolls, isn't 'into' Disney - princesses or otherwise, and who has a passing interest in Dora and Diego. So I got tasked to calling Borders and Barnes & Noble to see if the book was in stock. B&N won, so we set off on our adventure to Princeton Marketfair. After we picked up the book, we went to the ice cream stand in the food court, Thea got her usual, vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. Micah is not a big fan of ultra-cold stuff, no interest in vanilla or the German chocolate cake ice cream that I got. Thea was "still hungry" after that and wanted sushi. Huh? Where this came from, I don't know; I do know that the raw stuff isn't going into my kid. So I got a shrimp and scallion roll - and then had to remove the seaweed wrapper and the scallions before she'd eat it.

By late afternoon Micah was in whacking mode and Thea was getting cranky, so we decided to do a mini backwards day: baths before dinner and pancakes, fruit and o.j. for dinner. Thea was really into the idea, so it was sort of fun.

Jillian's Christening, etc.

We went on a trip to Hackettstown today for Micah's birthday-and-orphanage mate's baptism. It's been about five weeks since we got back from China, but I still can recognize her voice when she cries (and she only fussed while she was having water poured on her.) Micah and Thea were remarkably well-behaved even though we took seats at the back of the group gathered for the baptism, just in case a quick escape for a screaming heathen child (or two) was needed.

Thea did her usual slow to warm up, but not ready to leave when it was time to go home shtick at the party afterward, and Micah chowed down, walked around, and otherwise was Micah. He pretty much goes with the flow unless he's really tired.

Making the trip up there was good practice for going up to the Summit Speech School for Micah's evaluation in mid-September.

My mother got an upgraded computer on Sunday, and my internet connection was used (with my permission) and in the process all the emails in my in-box got downloaded to the hard drive of her new computer. So if you're reading this and you sent an email over the weekend and are wondering why I haven't responded, it will be waiting for me when we get to my mother's house on Friday.

"You have a messy house."

This comment I got from a little playground friend of Thea's who had stopped by to see if she could come out and ride bicycles. I hope tact comes in to his life soon, because if he lets fly with another comment like that around me, he won't live to see his next birthday much less get invited to Thea's birthday party. The house was in total disarray last week from Thursday through Saturday because the living room was rearranged to put up the play yard for Micah. But it was neat piles of stuff, not wading through debris or even anything close.

A victim of reordering our world to incorporate Micah was the chair that matches the sofa. There will be no memorial service for this hideous doesn't-know-if-it's-a-chair-or-loveseat, and the couch should be nervous because it's made out of the same butt-ugly fabric. Once the play yard was up and the living room put back in a little bit of order, the parts of the crib were pulled out from under furniture throughout the house, and while Steve, Micah and Thea were out in the pool, I put the crib back together. Only eight screws, but a pain in my neck. Thank goodness for an old Nordstrom's hatbox that I used to prop the bottom/spring thing to be able to keep it within reach of the screw holes instead of growing an extra set of hands.

Anyway, the bottom line is Micah has a room, even though he's still camping in the Pack-N-Play in our room. I've been rocking him to sleep in there, and once a few more things are exiled to the attic or wherever else we can stash them, and the baby monitor gets plugged in, he'll move.

Micah had his first visit with the local ENT last Wednesday. The guy had the personality of a paper clip, but his office staff was nice. And I met another family with a child with bilateral microtia/atresia. The little girl is now six years old and is entering mainstream first grade. Thanks to surgery, she went from moderate/severe hearing impairment to mild impairment. She also had the plastic surgery to create auricles, and even though I'm not as concerned with the cosmetic aspect as restoring as much of Micah's hearing as possible, the appearance of those ears was amazing. On September 6th, Micah is scheduled for an audiogram to test his hearing.

Update

Today is Micah's first appointment with the ENT, who will be the gateway to the audiologist, which will lead to an evaluation of Micah's hearing that we can send to the Somerset County early intervention program, which will lead to getting speech and hearing services. He's oblivious, and napping upstairs. We're finally getting into a routine - after one week in Wuhan, one week in Guangzhou, a third week in Bethany Beach, he's finally coming to know what being in the same place day in and day out means.

Thea's in school - she's been more balky the past two weeks at going to the Chinese immersion program than she was the first two weeks she attended (prior to the trip to China.) I'm losing my taste for forcing her to go even though she's happy once she gets settled in, I hate the idea of her dreading going to school each day.

I finally ordered actual prints of our pictures - in this same time frame after Thea's adoption I had pictures to send to friends, her album for the trip put together, and all my thank-you cards written. The second time around I feel like a complete slacker.