Stand By Your Mom . . . .

This week at Wicoff School the nurse was doing blood pressure, hearing and vision screenings.  No matter that my children have both a physician and an ophthalmologist and have had appointments both providers in the past sixty days.  Parents are not consulted or asked permission; it bothers me that biometric data is being collected and used by the school district for whatever purposes.  It all just seems rather paternalistic and heavy-handed.

Anyway, my irritation on that issue aside, an envelope comes home informing us that Thea's vision is 20/40 in both eyes and advising us to seek the appropriate medical attention. 

Funny (in a very un-amusing sort of way), Dr. Amy Wexler of South Jersey Eye Physicians found Thea's vision to be in the 20/20 to 20/25 range at the end of August.  I did not feel particularly compelled to send the form to Dr. Wexler's office to waste someone's time completing it just so the school nurse could tick off a little box somewhere that justifies her existence.  So I wrote my own note back to the nurse informing her (in case she missed the annual physical examination forms submitted for both children on the first day of school) that Thea (and Micah) have health care providers so I would appreciate no further screenings carried out on either of them.  And then signed it with my name comma MSN, APN-C.  Which is my heavy-handed way of telling her, my credentials trump yours, butt out.

Particularly I want to spare Micah from whatever is involved in this. I am hoping that the nurse's screenings started with the third graders and she is working her way down to the kindergarteners.  Micah has an audiologist (and the school has copies of the reports) and he has an ENT surgeon/neurotologist.  If Ms. School Nurse puts an otoscope anywhere near Micah's after-market ear canals, I will not be responsible for my actions.  Our rule of thumb for Micah's ears is:  If you didn't make those ear canals, you don't get to examine them.  So that means if GOD wanted a look, tough beans.

But I digress yet again from the story behind the title of this blog post. After the school nurse found Thea's vision deficient, she handed Thea an envelope addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Steve Albin.  Thea handed it back to her and said, "That's not my Mommy's name, she doesn't like to be called Mrs. Albin" thus forcing the nurse to make up an new envelope addressed "To the Parents of Thea Albin."  Which Thea told me she likes better anyhow. 

I love, love, love that child, both for making sure the envelope was addressed appropriately and for giving grief to the school nurse, who I've disliked practically from my first interaction with her last year.  It more than makes up for Thea fighting like badgers in a sack with Micah almost the entire way home from EDP's Lights On program the following night.